Improving Your Listening Skills

The success of many of our business activities depends on how well we listen. Studies show that
we spend about 80 percent of our waking hours communicating, and at least 45 percent of that time
listening. But although listening is so critical in our daily lives, it is taught and studied far less than the
other three basic communications skills: reading, writing, and speaking. Much of the trouble we have
communicating with others is because of poor listening skills. The good news is that listening efficiency
can be improved by understanding the steps involved in the listening process and by following some basic
guidelines.
How to Become a Better Listener
When it comes to listening, many of us are guilty of at least some bad habits. For example:
• Instead of listening, do you think about what you're going to say next while the other person is still
talking?
• Are you easily distracted by the speaker's mannerisms or by what is going on around you?
• Do you frequently interrupt people before they have finished talking?
• Do you drift off into daydreams because you are sure you know what the speaker is going to say?
All of these habits can hinder our listening ability. Contrary to popular notion, listening is not a passive
activity. It requires full concentration and active involvement and is, in fact, hard work.
The following tips can help you become a better listener:
Don't talk--listen. Studies show that job applicants are more likely to make a favorable impression and
get a job offer when they let the interviewer do most of the talking. This demonstrates that people
appreciate a good listener more than they do a good talker. Why is this so? Because people want a chance
to get their own ideas and opinions across. A good listener lets them do it. If you interrupt the speaker or
put limitations on your listening time, the speaker will get the impression that you're not interested in
what he is saying--even if you are. So be courteous and give the speaker your full attention.
Keep an open mind. Don't just listen for statements that back up your own opinions and support your
beliefs, or for certain parts that interest you. The point of listening, after all, is to gain new information.
Be willing to listen to someone else's point of view and ideas. A subject that may seem boring or trivial
at first can turn out to be fascinating, if you listen with an open mind.
Don't jump to conclusions. Many people tune out a speaker when they think they have the gist of his
conversation or know what he's going to say next. Assumptions can be dangerous. Maybe the speaker is
not following the same train of thought that you are, or is not planning to make the point you think he is.
If you don't listen, you may miss the real point the speaker is trying to get across. Listen "between the
lines." Concentrate on what is not being said as well as what is being said. Remember, a lot of clues to
meaning come from the speaker's tone of voice, facial expressions, and gestures. People don't always say
what they mean, but their body language is usually an accurate indication of their attitude and emotional
state. Ask questions. If you are not sure of what the speaker is saying, ask. It's perfectly acceptable to
say, "Do you mean...?" or "Did I understand you to say...?" It's also a good idea to repeat what the
speaker has said--in your own words--to confirm that you have under- stood him correctly.
If you must speak, ask questions. The goal is to get more specific and better refined information. To do
so, you will have to continue questioning your counterpart. Your questioning sequence will be moving
from the broad to the narrow, and eventually you will have the information to make the best decision. The
second reason to continue asking questions is that it will help you uncover your counterpart's needs and
wants.

Don't let yourself be distracted by the environment or by the speaker's appearance, accent,
mannerisms, or word use. It's sometimes difficult to overlook a strong accent, a twitch, sexist language, a
fly buzzing around the speaker's head, and similar distractions. But paying too much attention to these
distractions can break your concentration and make you miss part of the conversation. If outside
commotion is a problem, try to position yourself away from it. Make eye contact with the speaker, and
force yourself to focus on the message, not the environment.
Take advantage of your brainpower. On the average, you can think four times faster than the listener
can talk. So, when listening, use this extra brainpower to evaluate what has been said and summarize the
central ideas in your own mind. That way, you'll be better prepared to answer any questions or criticisms
the speaker poses, and you'll be able to debate much more effectively.
Provide feedback. Make eye contact with the speaker. Show him you understand his talk by nodding
your head, maintaining an upright posture, and, if appropriate, interjecting an occasional comment such
as "I see" or "that's interesting" or "really?" The speaker will appreciate your interest and feel that you
are really listening. Motivation is an essential key to becoming a good listener. Think how your ears perk
up if someone says, "Let me tell you how pleased I am with that report you did," or "I'm going to
reorganize the department, and you are in line for a promotion."
To get the most out of a meeting, speech, or conversation, go in with a positive attitude. Say to yourself,
"What can I learn from this to make me more valuable in my industry and to my company?" You might
be surprised at what you can learn, even from routine meetings and bull sessions at the water fountain.
Fight off distractions. When you are speaking or negotiating, try to create a situation in which you can
think clearly and avoid interruptions. Interruptions and distractions tend to prevent communication from
proceeding smoothly or may even cause a setback. Employees, peers, children, animals, and phones can
all distract you and force your eye off the goal. If you can, create a good listening environment.